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The script is hard to see, so the first script is here and the second one is here
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After some talks, I was advised to step away from my sketch book and try using a different medium on a bigger scale. I then got... -
Presentation 1 by Alfie Gunter on Scribd
Alfie – There are two ways to ways to interpret your OGR. Firstly, I could say you procrastinated (for the lack of a better word) around vague ideas, lost valuable time, and as a result the document is ‘thin’ in terms of content. Secondly, I could say “Phew! I’m glad you’ve finally found a direction and made progress – however small”. Overall, it does make me wonder what the problem was in the first place…possibly trying to please others rather than yourself? I’m not sure. Either way its good to see that you have started to move in the right direction. With that said, its important to remember that you have lost time so you should try to catch up as best as possible where you can.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of your script, it does read like a first draft. It has a set up (lining up/waiting) and an ending (delivering the message) but it lacks ‘obstacles/excitement/drama’ in the middle. Simply put, you’ve got to make the audience care and worry about your ‘little hero’. It could be that his size or lack of stature is the key to him succeeding where others haven’t been able to. So his perceived weakness becomes his strength. Does that make sense?
Your character designs are possibly the most successful part of your OGR. It is a shame there is not more development /work done in this area - It seems like you stopped after your first post? As I said, that’s a shame because these were starting to push your project into new tonal direction. One thing I think you should keep in mind is that you shouldn’t make your character so ‘goofy’. He is a WW1 pigeon and you should keep in mind the people who were lost. Also, you audience needs to care about the little guy, not laugh at him.
So, you next step (a priority) is to rework your story (with advice if need be) and create an animatic. That is too important to leave much longer. You should work on the characters in between that. One piece of advice though (an observation) is that you should try to speed up a bit – I know there has been a lot to focus on this term, but there isn’t long left.
*you = your
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